Be Known for Results and for Keeping Quiet

Imagine a dog walker named Callum Doyle. In March, he starts walking dogs in a neighborhood of big houses. By the following winter, he walks six dogs, and most of the owners found him through a pet-care website. One of the six is Otto, the Fairbanks’ young Weimaraner. Otto pulled so hard on the lead that Mrs. Fairbank had stopped walking him herself.

Callum walks Otto alone, at seven every morning, down Linden Avenue. By November, Otto walks at his side past the other dogs on the street. By December, nine months in, not one client has sent Callum anyone. He wonders whether word of mouth works at all for a dog walker.

In February, a neighbor named Mr. Pembury stops him on Linden. “Is that the Fairbanks’ dog? He used to drag her down the street.” Callum says, “This is Otto. He’s worked hard.” Mr. Pembury asks, “Are the Fairbanks away a lot? I never see the car.” Callum says, “You’d have to ask them. I just walk Otto.” He gives Mr. Pembury his card.

At the club that weekend, Mr. Pembury asks Mrs. Fairbank about her walker. “He wouldn’t tell me a thing about you,” he says. “That’s why he has our keys,” she says. “And look at Otto.” Mr. Pembury calls Callum in April, 13 months after Callum started. Two more households on Linden call by the autumn. By his second March, most of Callum’s week comes from people who saw Otto or asked about him.

Callum did not ask anyone to pass his name on. What got passed on was two parts of his work. Otto, walking calmly down Linden Avenue every morning, was the result the street could see. What Mrs. Fairbank could vouch for was the other part, that Callum kept her house to himself. It took more than a year for the two to bring him a client. Here is why those two carry a reputation, and why it takes that long.

A client can vouch for two parts of your work

When a friend asks a client, “Who walks your dog?”, the client can answer only from what they have seen. They have seen whether you got them the result they hired you for. They have also seen whether anything about their household reached anyone else. So the course treats a reputation that travels on its own as two parts, results and discretion. Its reason is that these are the parts a client can vouch for without guessing.

Results are the part a friend can check. A client who saw you do what they hired you for can tell a friend so. That answers part of the friend’s question of whether you can do the work, before they ever call you.

Discretion is the expectation a wealthy household rarely says out loud. Nothing you see or hear in a client’s home reaches anyone else. That covers their name, their comings and goings, and what the house looks like inside. A house manager in Toronto described the job as seeing everything and saying nothing. A client can vouch for your discretion because nothing about them ever came back to them.

A wedding planner said a couple trusts their planner with the day and with their private life

No Worries Event Planning was a wedding planning company in Los Angeles. In 2019, its founder wrote about building a business on referrals. In Los Angeles, the planner wrote, clients invest a lot of money in their vendors, and “they want someone they can trust.”

The planner gave the reason in one sentence. “That person is holding the keys to your entire event, and they know a lot of personal and financial information about you.”

Measured against this lesson, that sentence holds both parts of a reputation. Holding the keys to the event is the result, a wedding day that goes the way the couple was promised. Knowing their personal and financial information is the discretion, because none of it leaves with the planner. A couple who asks a friend about a planner wants to hear about both.

People keep talking about what they can see

In 2011, Jonah Berger and Eric Schwartz published a study in the Journal of Marketing Research. The study asked why some products get talked about more than others. The two looked at everyday conversations about more than 300 products. They also ran a field experiment across several cities and an experiment in a lab.

Products that people found more interesting got talked about more right away. Over the following months, they got no more talk than other products. Two kinds of product got more talk both right away and over the months that followed. Some were easy for other people to see. Others were brought to mind by people’s surroundings.

Those were products, and the step to a dog on a street is the course’s own. Here is the step. Otto walking calmly down Linden Avenue was a result the whole street saw, every morning, for months. Each walk was a fresh reminder to ask who walks him. A funny story about Callum would have been told once and then forgotten.

So aim for a result that shows in the client’s own life, where their friends will see it or hear it. It might be a child who plays at the school concert. It might be a garden that guests walk through, or a dog that no longer pulls. Their friends see it without any help from you. You do not need to point to it, so it does not cost you your discretion.

A reputation needs a year or more to reach the people who ask

Callum’s first call came 13 months after he started. Most of his week came through the street after two years. The course gives 12 to 36 months as the time a reputation like his usually takes to start bringing clients. Here is its reason.

A result the client’s friends can see takes months of work, the way Otto took eight. Then a friend has to need your kind of help and ask the client about it. You cannot choose when that happens. With a handful of clients, those moments come only a few times a year.

Some results show only once a year, such as a garden in summer or a holiday party. For that work, the year has to come around once or twice before the friends have seen enough to ask. That is why the range runs to three years.

A piano teacher’s students started coming by word of mouth in her third year

In 2009, piano teachers on the Piano World forum compared how long it took them to build up a full studio. A teacher who posted as Ann in Kentucky answered with her first three years.

Ann had five students in her first year. Then she advertised on Craigslist. She also gave a certificate for a free month of lessons to a raffle at her son’s elementary school. When she wrote, three students who found her on Craigslist were still with her. The raffle brought her one student, and two more came as referrals from its winners.

She had 12 students in her second year. She wrote that “now starting my 3rd year I’ve gotten word of mouth referrals…now at 18.” Then she added, “And now I no longer have to advertise. Still, it helped me get started.”

Measured against this lesson, Ann’s word of mouth arrived about two years after she began, inside the course’s range. Her families were piano families, not described as wealthy, and the step to your clients is the course’s own.

Why paying clients to pass your name on goes wrong

Imagine a caterer named Bram Holloway who has cooked private dinners in one town for 10 months. Clients like his food, and none of them has sent him anyone yet. He wants the referrals to come faster. With every invoice, he now sends a card that says, “Send me a friend and take $150 off your next dinner.”

Mrs. Danforth hosts a dinner for 12 that Bram cooks. At the end of the evening, a guest named Mr. Lyle asks Mrs. Danforth who cooked. She praises Bram and gives his name. Two weeks later, Mr. Lyle hires Bram for a dinner of his own. The same card arrives with his invoice.

Mr. Lyle remembers how warmly Mrs. Danforth praised Bram. Now he wonders how much of that praise was for the $150. When a colleague asks him for a caterer, he does not want the colleague to wonder the same about him. He gives the name of the caterer his club uses.

Bram’s food was good at both dinners. His mistake was the card. A friend’s word counts because nobody can buy it, and the card put a price on it. The version that works sends the invoice with a short thank-you and nothing else. The dinner Mr. Lyle ate at Mrs. Danforth’s table is what gets passed on.

Waiting a year or more for referrals is not waiting for work

Twelve to 36 months can sound like a long time to wait with open days in the week. Few professionals can afford to sit still while a reputation builds.

You do not have to sit still. Ann kept her Craigslist ad and her raffle going through her first two years. She stopped advertising only when word of mouth made it unnecessary. So keep one other way for a new client to find you until most of your clients come through someone. The wait is for the referrals, and the work goes on in the meantime.

How to build a reputation for results and discretion

On the page you keep on each client, write the result they hired you for. Put it as something their friends could see or hear. For example, a personal trainer might write that Mr. Abernathy wants to carry his own golf bag for 18 holes by June.
Under the result, write where the client’s friends will see it, and the date it should be ready by. For example, an interior designer might plan to finish the Calloways’ dining room two weeks before their December party.
When someone asks you about a client’s home, family, or comings and goings, give the same answer every time. Say nothing about the client, and turn the talk back to the person asking or to the work. For example, a private chef whose guest asks whether the hosts eat like this every night can say, “You’d have to ask them. May I bring you more of the lamb?”
When someone praises a client’s result in front of you, give the credit to the client and stop. Leave out what the client struggled with and how long it took. For example, a coach who hears that a client seems like a different manager now can say, “He’s put in the work.”
Do not offer a discount, a gift, or a free session in return for a referral. When a client sends someone, thank them, and offer nothing in return. For example, a specialist realtor can write, “Thank you for passing my name to the Hendersons.”
Next to each client in your records, write the month they started and the month a friend of theirs first called you. Look at the list once a year. That is the course’s suggestion, because a reputation moves in months, not weeks. Until most of your clients come through someone, keep your other way for new clients open.

Next: You will see how to ask a client for an introduction at a high point, and how to make it easy.