What Each Level Expects From You

Imagine a home organizer named Dana Whitlock whose affluent clients love one habit of hers. When she finishes a closet, she sends a photo of it with a short note saying where everything went. Two of those clients have sent friends to her because of it.

In May, a wealthy household hires Dana through its house manager, Mr. Ferris. A house manager runs a household’s staff and its day-to-day affairs. Dana has another job across town that afternoon. So she starts on the main closet the moment she arrives. She labels the shelves the way she does for every client.

When she finishes, Dana sends Mr. Ferris the photo and the note. Mr. Ferris thanks her, and then he asks Dana to relabel the shelves to match the house manual. The house manual is the household’s written set of rules for how everything is done. Dana has not asked whether there is one. She gives up the next morning to redo the labels.

Suppose instead that Dana asks Mr. Ferris before she starts. “Is there a way the house likes closets done that I should follow from the start?” Mr. Ferris sends her the two pages of the house manual on closets. Dana labels the shelves to match, and the household books her for the rest of the house.

In this house, the staff send notes like Dana’s every day, so her photo and note do not stand out. What the household expects from Dana, from the first day, is the job done the way the household does it.

You can tell a client’s level from who looks after the household

Firms that study wealth sort people by how much money they have to invest, not counting the home they live in. Capgemini uses three groups: $1 million to $5 million, $5 million to $30 million, and $30 million or more. This course calls them affluent, wealthy, and ultra-wealthy.

You will not see a client’s bank accounts, so go by the signs that tell the levels apart. A few of them together usually point the right way:

Affluent. The client writes to you, chooses you, and pays you.
Wealthy. An assistant or a house manager often writes for the client, and staff may answer the door.
Ultra-wealthy. An estate manager or a family office writes to you, and the family keeps several homes. An estate manager runs a family’s homes and staff. A family office is a private firm that runs a family’s money and affairs.

An assistant to ultra-wealthy families puts the house rules in writing

Brian Daniel worked for decades as a personal assistant to ultra-wealthy clients. In 2024, he told The Cut what matters most in that job. “The most important thing is that you understand the way that the client wants things to be run,” he said.

The rules can be small and exact. “When they come home, they want the towels folded this certain way, rolled up like sushi,” Daniel said. Families also differ about whether they want to see the people who work for them. They “want staff everywhere, or they don’t want to see staff at all.”

A family with several homes needs the same rules kept in each of them. So Daniel’s team writes the rules down. “We create house manuals with pictures,” he said, “and it’s all digitized so that it’s the same rules across all their homes, and there’s no confusion.”

In a house that has a manual, the minimum is following it exactly. So before the first job, ask whether the household has a house manual. If it does, ask to see the part that covers your work.

A house manager in Toronto has reported every dollar, and nothing at all

The recruiter Scott Munden interviewed a house manager in Toronto for Estate & Manor. To keep the family private, Munden calls the house manager “Sam.” Sam has worked under three arrangements for spending a household’s money.

In one job, the owner “had absolutely no interest in the details pertaining to the daily running of the house.” “I just had to make the decisions myself,” Sam said. In another job, “I had to report each day for every single dollar spent.”

Of the second job, Sam said that it was “impossible to work under those circumstances,” because “there is so much time wasted.”

Sam’s current job, with a family he has worked for over the last 12 years, is “a good mix between both.” He has “the discretionary power to spend,” and he reports “once a month through financial statements.” The family is closely involved in the household, so he also reports problems as they come up.

So before you spend a client’s money, ask how involved they want to be.

A house manager sees everything and says nothing

Munden asked Sam to describe the ideal house manager. Sam’s answer included “total discretion,” and he explained what he meant. A house manager should “always remember that you will see everything but be expected to say nothing.”

Discretion is the one expectation many wealthy households hold without saying it. Nothing you see or hear in a client’s home reaches anyone else. That includes what the house looks like inside.

What impresses one level is expected at the next

The households Daniel and Sam describe already have staff who work to a high standard. Sam said that a good house manager “thinks ahead to ensure that every detail of the household occurs with maximum efficiency and minimum fuss.”

Here is the course’s view of what that means for you. A client measures your service against the service they already get every day. So a small extra that stands out to an affluent client can be ordinary in a household with staff. There, someone does it every day.

Among the ultra-wealthy, extras are part of what clients expect from the firms that manage their money. Capgemini’s World Wealth Report 2024 surveyed more than 3,000 wealthy people, including more than 1,300 with $30 million or more to invest. Of those ultra-wealthy people, 78% said that extra services are essential. The extras the report lists range from tax planning to concierge services and help with giving to charity.

While that survey is about money managers, the same holds for your own work, in the course’s view. So take the extras that would stand out to clients one level below the client you are serving. Then do them for that client every time.

The minimum rises with each level

Each household sets its own standard, so treat this table as the course’s starting point. Find the row for the level you serve:

Level	The minimum	What impresses	What offends
Affluent	You arrive when you said you would, and you charge what you quoted.	You add a personal touch they did not ask for, such as a note after each visit.	Your bill comes in higher than the quote, with no warning.
Wealthy	You do the personal touches every time, and you follow the house manual if there is one. You say nothing about the household.	You take care of what the household will need next, before the house manager has to ask.	You mention the household, its people, or its home to anyone.
Ultra-wealthy	You take care of what the household will need next, before anyone has to ask. You follow the house manual exactly and keep total discretion.	You solve a problem outside your job quietly, before anyone notices it.	You share anything private about the family, even a photo of their home. You turn up in a room where nobody asked you to be.

Why the attention one level enjoys can offend the next

Imagine a private chef named Theo Marsh whose affluent clients love the way he comes to the table to explain each course. An estate manager, Ms. Adair, books him for a dinner for 10 at an ultra-wealthy family’s house. The booking comes two days before the dinner, and Theo has a lunch to cook that same day. So he does not ask how the family likes dinner served.

When the first course goes out, Theo goes with it. “This is a chilled pea soup, with mint from the garden,” he tells the table. Then he stays to answer a guest’s question about the mint.

Back in the kitchen, Ms. Adair asks Theo to stay there for the rest of the evening. “The family would rather not see staff during dinner,” she says. The family does not book Theo again.

Theo’s habit suits his affluent clients. His mistake is bringing it to a new household without asking first, because the booking was rushed.

In the version that works, Theo calls Ms. Adair the day before the dinner and asks, “How does the family like dinner served? Should I come out and introduce each course, or stay in the kitchen?” Ms. Adair says that the family would rather not see staff during dinner. So Theo puts a printed menu at each place and stays in the kitchen. The family books him again for the next month.

How to meet each client’s minimum and then go past it

Work out which level the client is at, from a few signs together. Look at who writes to you, who answers the door, and how many homes the family keeps.
Find the table row one level below this client, and take what it lists under “What impresses.” Do that for this client every time, without being asked. For an affluent client, your minimum is what the Affluent row lists under “The minimum.” For example, a florist sometimes leaves a small posy for the kitchen as a surprise for her affluent clients. She leaves one at every delivery to a wealthy household.
Before the first job, ask how the household likes your work done, and whether there is a house manual. For example, a dog walker can ask the house manager, “Is there a way the family likes the dog walked that I should follow from the start? If there’s a house manual, could I see the page on the dog?”
Ask how much the household wants to see of you, and keep to the answer. For example, an event planner can ask an estate manager, “During the party, should I check in with the family, or come to you with anything that comes up?”
Ask how involved the client wants to be in what you spend. They may want you to decide small purchases yourself, report as you go, or report once a month. For example, an interior designer can ask, “Shall I buy the small items under $500 myself and send you a statement each month, or would you like to approve each one?”
Find the offense in the table for the client’s level, and decide the habit that will keep you from it. For example, a wedding photographer who works for ultra-wealthy families might make a rule for herself. No photo from a job leaves her computer until the family approves it in writing.
Choose one extra from the “What impresses” column for the client’s level, and do it quietly. For example, a coach whose wealthy client travels often might send the next three months of session dates to the client’s assistant. He sends them before the assistant has to ask.

Next: You will see the parts of a wealthy client’s life to understand, from second homes to staff and schools.