Fast on Small Choices, Slow on Commitments

Imagine an interior designer named Hana Lindell who meets Mrs. Cole about redoing her whole house. Hana has painters free in three weeks, and she wants to hold their dates. So at the end of the first meeting, she hands Mrs. Cole a list of 12 early choices. They run from paint colors to door handles. She also asks Mrs. Cole to sign the full contract by Friday.

Mrs. Cole makes none of the choices and does not sign. She says that she wants to talk to her husband first, and to a friend who redid her own house last year. Three weeks later, Mrs. Cole is still deciding, and the painters go to another job.

Hana asks Mrs. Cole for two things at once. One is to make choices that Hana could make herself. The other is to sign before Mrs. Cole has had time to ask anyone. Both requests slow the job down.

Suppose instead that Hana chooses the paint colors and the door handles herself, from what Mrs. Cole has said she likes. She sends Mrs. Cole the list of what she chose and says that any of it can change until the painters start.

With the contract, Hana sends a one-page summary of the work, the fee, and the start date. Mrs. Cole can show it to her husband and her friend. “When might your husband have a chance to look at this?” Hana asks. They agree on a call the next Thursday.

Mrs. Cole changes one door handle. After the call on Thursday, she signs, and the painters start on time.

Hana’s work is the same both times. What changes is who makes the small choices, and how much time Mrs. Cole has for the large one.

Small choices cost a wealthy client time

Researchers who studied how people spend money to save time found that people with higher incomes feel shorter of time. That held in countries from Germany to Korea to the United States. A client who feels short of time spends some of it on every small choice you hand them.

The same researchers found that people who spend money to save time tend to be happier. Even so, many wealthy people do not do it. Just under half of the 818 millionaires they surveyed in the Netherlands spent no money having someone else do tasks they disliked.

So when you make a small choice for a client, you give them back some of their time. Not every wealthy client wants that, though.

A New York design firm buys everything for some clients and charges others by the hour

In 2015, an interior designer at a New York firm that designs homes for wealthy clients described his work to VICE. For vacation homes, his firm often buys everything, “from rugs, dining tables, and chandeliers to plungers, coffee mugs, doormats, and soap.”

Other clients want to make each choice themselves. When the firm knows that a client will “take three weeks to pick a coffee table,” it charges by the hour. That client takes up more of the firm’s time, he said, and usually ends up buying less.

So do not assume that every client wants the small choices made for them. Offer to make them, show the client what you chose, and make it easy to change any of it. A client who wants to choose everything can take those choices back.

A wedding planner for the richest couples has not been handed a blank check

In 2023, CNN reported that even the richest couples generally set a budget for their weddings. “I have very, very wealthy clients,” Jung Lee, a destination wedding planner at Fête New York, told CNN. “And I’ve never, ever encountered where somebody was willing to give me a blank check.”

The large decisions in a job include whether to hire you, how much to spend, and which plan to choose. Expect even the wealthiest client to weigh each of them.

Wealthy buyers ask people they trust before a large purchase

In 2008, the Luxury Institute asked wealthy Americans how they decide on luxury goods and services, as The Wise Marketer reported. The survey covered people earning at least $150,000 a year. While 64% said they go straight to the websites of providers they know, 57% said they ask friends and family.

The wealthiest people in the survey were those worth at least $5 million, or earning more than $300,000 a year. They most trusted advice from professionals such as travel agents, realtors, and stylists.

So a large decision often waits until the client has talked to a spouse, a friend, or another professional. Ask early who else will have a say. Then give the client something they can show those people, and the time to show it.

Why hurrying a large decision goes wrong

Imagine a personal trainer named Tobias Reed whose new client, Mr. Grant, is pleased after his first session. Tobias has another client in 10 minutes, and he would like the year booked. “If you sign up for 12 months today, I can take 10% off,” he says.

Mr. Grant says that he would like to ask his doctor and his wife first. Tobias tells him that the discount ends today. Mr. Grant says he will leave it, then, and he does not book again.

Tobias’s offer makes the decision harder, because it asks Mr. Grant to decide before he can ask the people he trusts. The discount does not speed him up. It gives him a reason to say no.

In the version that works, Tobias gives Mr. Grant the price for 12 months and no discount. “Take the plan home and show it to your doctor,” he says. “Could we talk on Monday?” That evening, Tobias emails a one-page plan with the sessions, the price, and the start date. Mr. Grant’s doctor says the plan is fine, and Mr. Grant signs up on Monday.

How to make the small choices and give the large ones time

1. List every choice you ask a client to make, from the first call to the final bill.
2. Mark the small choices. These are the ones you could make well from what you already know about the client.
3. Make the small choices yourself. Send the client what you chose, and say how to change any of it. For example, a home organizer can write, “I’ve chosen clear bins for the pantry, with labels in black. If you’d like anything different, tell me by Friday and I’ll change it.”
4. Leave the large decisions to the client. Before you ask for one, find out who else the client will talk to. For example, a tutor can ask a parent, “Is there anyone you’d like to talk this over with before you decide?”
5. Send a short written summary the client can forward. Say what they are agreeing to, what it costs, and when it starts. For example, a family photographer might write, “A portrait session at your house in October is $3,500, with 20 finished photos by mid-November.”
6. Agree on a day to talk again, and do not offer a discount for deciding sooner. For example, a dog walker can ask, “Would Thursday suit you to talk it over, once your husband has seen the summary?”

Next: You will see what counts as competent, what impresses, and what offends at each level of wealth.