Some Clients Hire You to Reward Themselves

Imagine an interior designer named Ines who gets a call from a new client, Mrs. Lindqvist. Mrs. Lindqvist wants one room redone, a small sunroom at the back of her house.

“I’ve wanted a room of my own to read in for 20 years,” she says. Her budget is about twice what Ines usually charges for one room.

Ines asks when Mrs. Lindqvist would like to start. “Any time after the first of the month,” Mrs. Lindqvist says. “That’s my last day at the hospital.”

Mrs. Lindqvist does not say that she is retiring, and she does not call the room a reward. Ines guesses both, and she keeps her guess to herself.

Ines asks one more question. “What have you pictured in that room?”

Mrs. Lindqvist describes a deep chair by the window, shelves up to the ceiling, and a lamp she can read by.

A week later, Ines sends her proposal. It has the chair by the window, shelves built to fit the wall, and three lamps to choose from. The price is her full price for that work, and the proposal does not mention retirement.

Mrs. Lindqvist signs the proposal the same day.

Some clients hire a professional the way Mrs. Lindqvist hires Ines. For these clients, the job is a reward to themselves after years of work or a hard year. They may not say so.

When you guess that a client is rewarding themselves, offer them the best version of the job at your full price. Keep your guess to yourself.

People plan the rewards they give themselves

In 1990, two researchers studied the gifts people buy for themselves. They paid most attention to two kinds of gift. One was a gift meant as a reward, and the other was a gift meant to make the person feel better.

Their findings suggest that people tend to plan these gifts ahead of time. The gifts are also tied to what is going on in the person’s life. The researchers describe each gift as something the person is saying to themselves.

A client who hires you as a reward may be doing the same. The client might be telling themselves that the years of work were worth it, or that a bad year is over.

Here is what that means for the job.

First, the client has probably thought about the job for a long time. So ask what the client has pictured, and build that.

Second, the client is saying something to themselves, so nobody else has to hear it. The client may not tell you the reason for the job at all.

Third, the occasion may not be a happy one. One client might be marking a promotion, and another might be marking the end of a long illness. So do not ask what the client is celebrating, and do not congratulate a client on a guess.

Many people choose a treat over cash so the prize does not go to bills

In a series of studies, people chose between two prizes. One prize was a luxury, and the other was cash worth the same amount or more.

A large share of them chose the luxury. They usually explained that they wanted to make sure the prize did not end up paying for everyday needs.

The people in those studies wanted their reward kept apart from their everyday money. A client who hires you as a reward may want the same.

Here is what that means for your price. When you take money off, that money goes back into the client’s everyday spending. That is what the people in the studies wanted to avoid. A discount can also make the job feel like an everyday purchase, when the client wanted it to feel special.

So do not take money off as a gift when a client is marking an occasion. If you want to give the client something, add it to the work. A private chef can add a course the client did not order.

A client who is rewarding themselves may also have set aside more than your usual job costs, as Mrs. Lindqvist has. So show the client the best version of the job first, with its full price. If the client asks for less, do the smaller job well.

A wedding photographer says much of his work for famous clients is for them alone

John Dolan, a wedding photographer who started out in New York, has photographed weddings for more than 30 years. His wedding clients include magazine editors and celebrities such as Gwyneth Paltrow.

The photography website PetaPixel asked him whether celebrities want something different from other clients, such as help with publicity.

“A lot of the work I do for celebs never gets seen,” he said. “It’s for them, not for their publicist. They hire me to photograph them as they are instead of as the public sees them.”

One celebrity told him that they had only two kinds of photos of their family, “iPhone pics and paparazzi shots.” That client, he said, needed a photographer “who they could trust.”

Dolan’s clients are buying a job that is for them alone, though he does not call it a reward. A reward is that kind of job too.

So take as much care with the parts only the client will see as with the parts you show in public. Before you post this client’s job, ask, and take the answer as final.

An event planner listens for her clients’ celebrations and gets in touch first

In 2026, the basketball player Russell Westbrook interviewed Mindy Weiss for Interview magazine. Weiss is an event planner, and she has worked for his family since his wedding 11 years earlier.

Weiss said that she does not often do just one event for a client. “I do all your celebrations,” she told him, “from the wedding to the baby showers and on and on.”

He asked how she knows what he needs before he has thought of it. She answered that being a good listener is “probably one of my best secrets.”

“I listen and remember dates, birthdays, celebrations,” she said, “and I try to reach out before they reach me.”

When he asked what her events cost, she said her parties “tend to cost a little more because my clients expect the best.” She added, “They come in with a budget, and I charge a certain price.”

So when a client mentions a date or an occasion, write it down that day. Then get in touch before the date comes around.

A birthday or an anniversary that a client has told you about is safe to mention. You can wish the client a happy birthday, because the client chose to tell you about it.

Do not add your opinion of why the client is spending the money. “Happy birthday” is about the day. “You deserve it” is your guess about the client.

Why telling a client to treat themselves goes wrong

Imagine a personal trainer named Callum who meets a new client, Ms. Arden. She wants to train three mornings a week for a year, which is the largest package Callum sells.

“I promised myself I’d do this once life settled down,” she says.

“Big birthday coming up?” he asks. “You’ve earned it. Treat yourself.”

Ms. Arden’s divorce became final last month. She does not want to explain her divorce to a trainer she met 10 minutes ago. She says, “Something like that,” and she asks no more questions. She tells Callum she will be in touch, and she leaves.

The next week, Ms. Arden meets another trainer, Bess. Bess asks, “What do you want to be able to do a year from now?” Ms. Arden says she wants to hike in the mountains for a week.

Bess plans the year of training around that hike, and she quotes her full price for it. Ms. Arden signs up with Bess.

Callum means to be kind. His words tell Ms. Arden that he has guessed at her private life, and his guess is wrong. “Treat yourself” is also what many advertisements say, so Callum sounds like a salesman.

Bess asks about the year ahead and leaves the reason to Ms. Arden.

So ask what the client wants from the job. Leave the reason for the job to the client.

Saying nothing about the reward is not being cold

Keeping quiet about a client’s big moment can feel cold. Charging full price to a client who is celebrating can feel like taking advantage.

You can show that you care through the work. Ines says nothing about retirement, and her proposal has the chair by the window that Mrs. Lindqvist described. Mrs. Lindqvist can tell that Ines listened.

Your full price does not take advantage of the client either. The client has often planned the job and chosen the budget before calling you. You show the best version of the job once, with its price, and the client decides.

A guess can also be wrong. If you keep a wrong guess to yourself, the client still gets a careful job. If you say a wrong guess out loud, you can lose the client, as Callum does.

If the client tells you about the occasion, answer the way you would answer a friend. Then go back to the job.

The signs that a client is rewarding themselves

One sign alone does not tell you much about why a client is hiring you. A few signs together are a good reason to guess that the job is a reward.

Here are the signs to listen for:

• The job is for the client alone. A garden that only the client sits in is one example.
• The client has wanted the job for a long time. Listen for “finally,” “for years,” and “I promised myself.”
• The client mentions a milestone or the end of a hard year. A 60th birthday and the last payment on a house are two examples.
• The budget is larger than the job needs, and the client does not ask you to trim it.

Even with a few signs, you are still guessing. So let your guess shape the job you offer, and leave your guess out of what you say.

How to serve a client who is rewarding themselves

1. In a first conversation, listen for the signs. Afterward, write down what the client said.
2. Keep your guess to yourself. Do not ask what the client is celebrating, and do not congratulate the client on a guess.
3. Ask what the client has pictured. For example, a private chef can ask, “What have you pictured for this dinner?” Then build the job around the answer, and use what the client described in your proposal.
4. Show the best version of the job first, with its full price. For example, the private chef can say, “For a dinner like this, I would cook seven courses and bring a server, so you can stay at the table. I will send you the menu and the price tomorrow.” If the client asks for less, do the smaller job well.
5. Do not take money off as a gift. If you want to give the client something, add it to the work. For example, a photographer can add a framed print the client did not order.
6. Leave “deserve,” “earned,” “treat yourself,” and “reward” out of everything you say and write to the client.
7. If the client tells you about the occasion, answer the way you would answer a friend. Then go back to the job. For example, an event planner can say, “Congratulations on finishing the book. Tell me about the party you have in mind.”
8. Write down every date and occasion a client mentions, and get in touch before the date comes around. For example, a dog walker can write, “Pepper turns 10 on the 14th. Would you like me to take her to the beach that morning?”
9. Before you post a job or mention it to another client, ask. For example, Ines can ask Mrs. Lindqvist, “May I show the room on my website, without your name?” If the client hesitates, leave it out.

Next: You will see why many wealthy clients hire the professional their friends and neighbors already use.