The Decision Comes Before the Reasons

Imagine an interior designer named Mara Lindholm who meets a couple, the Whitfields, about the house they have just bought. The meeting goes well. Mrs. Whitfield says twice that she wants a kitchen where the family eats breakfast together.

Mara has two site visits the next day, so she writes the proposal that night from her usual template. It opens with what is included, starting with a site visit, two concept boards, and three rounds of revisions. Then it lists a schedule for ordering the furniture and 40 hours of project management.

The Whitfields read it and write back with questions. They ask what three rounds of revisions means, whether two would do, and how the 40 hours were counted. A week later, they hire a different designer. Her proposal opens with what Mrs. Whitfield said about breakfast, and then it describes a weekday morning in the new kitchen. Her list of what is included comes at the end.

When Mrs. Whitfield tells a friend about it, she says the second designer “just got it.” Both designers are offering the same work. One of them puts the client’s day first, and the list last.

The fast part of the mind decides, and the slow part explains

In Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman describes two ways the mind works. One is fast and effortless. It reacts to a face, a room, or a tone of voice before you have decided to think about it. The other is slow and deliberate, and it does the weighing and the reasoning.

In an earlier paper, Kahneman wrote that a first, intuitive thought comes to mind as easily as something you see. He also wrote that people correct those first judgments only now and then. So the first reaction usually stands.

Here is the course’s view of what follows. Once the first reaction stands, the slow part of the mind is left to explain a choice that has already been made. Kahneman was writing about judgment in general. A study of shoppers found that a feeling comes before the choice when people decide whether to buy.

Shoppers’ brains react to a product before they choose to buy it

Brian Knutson and four colleagues watched the brains of 26 people while they decided whether to buy products. Each person had $20 in cash to spend in each session. When a person wanted a product, a part of the brain that looks forward to a reward became active. When the price seemed too high, a part that looks ahead to a loss became active.

Both happened before the person chose. That activity predicted whether they bought, over and above what they said about the product themselves. The researchers concluded that the feeling of what was coming arrived first and supported the decision to buy.

The step to a service business is the course’s own. Here is the step. A client’s yes or no starts to form as they read your first reply, before they have weighed your list. So put what the client can picture and feel first.

A stylist sees a client fall for a gown, then helps her find the reason

A personal shopper and stylist to some of the world’s wealthiest women told Grazia how his clients shop. He asked the magazine not to name him, out of respect for his clients’ privacy. He said that half of his work is choosing pieces for their cut, their craftsmanship, and their story. He added that “the other half of my job is emotional.”

He described the moment he looks for. “When someone truly falls in love with a piece on the runway, their body language changes,” he said. He makes a note of those pieces and sends them to the client afterward.

One client fell for a ball gown and told him, “I have nowhere to wear this.” He answered, “Trust me, we’ll find the occasion.” Months later, she wore it to a gala in London.

The stylist did not argue her into the gown or out of it. He noticed the moment she fell for it, and then he helped her find the reason.

So watch for the moment a client’s manner changes, because the decision is being made then. Then give the client a reason that fits the feeling, one they can hold onto.

The same list does a different job at the end of a proposal

Your list of what is included is true and useful, and the client will need it. Here is the course’s view of why its place matters. Placed first, the list hands the client parts to weigh before they have a picture of the whole. A list can be set beside every other professional’s list, so the client compares and questions instead of deciding. They ask what three rounds means and whether two would do, as the Whitfields did.

Placed last, the same list has a different job. By then, the client has pictured the house, or the wedding, or the first month of training. The list shows that the picture can be delivered. Nothing about the offer has changed, and the price has not changed. Only the order has.

Why answering a question with a longer list goes wrong

Imagine a wedding photographer named Rafael Ortiz whose client, Mr. Lund, warms to him on the first call. Afterward, Mr. Lund writes, “What does the day rate include?” Rafael answers from his phone between two shoots, so he pastes in his full price sheet.

Mr. Lund writes back to ask about the second photographer. Rafael adds a paragraph about her, with her hours and her fee. By the third email, the thread holds two price sheets and a table of hours. Mr. Lund books the photographer his sister used.

In the course’s view, Mr. Lund’s question is a sign that he has already decided he likes Rafael. He is asking what he would get, not whether to hire Rafael at all. He wants a reason to hold onto. Each longer list gives him more to compare instead, and the comparing wears the feeling away.

Suppose instead that Rafael answers in two sentences. “It covers eight hours, from the first look to the sparklers, and a second photographer for the ceremony. What time are you thinking of for the first look?” Mr. Lund writes back about the light at the vineyard, and he books Rafael that week.

How to put the client’s day before your list

Find the first moment a new client feels something about you. For a client who finds you online or is sent a link, it is your website. For a client who writes after a referral, it is your reply. For one who visits, it is the room they walk into.
Begin your reply with the occasion or the result the client wrote to you about, in their words. Then give your process. The course suggests this order because it shows the client that you heard them. For example, an event planner whose client wrote about “our daughter’s wedding in June” can begin, “Thank you for writing about your daughter’s wedding in June.”
On your website, open with the occasions clients come to you for, in the words they use. Put your process after them.
In your proposal, open with what the client told you, the way the second designer began with Mrs. Whitfield’s family breakfasts. Then describe one moment of the day as the client will live it, with a detail they can picture. For example, a personal trainer can write, “It is a Saturday in May. You cross the finish line of the race you signed up for in January, still running.”
Put your list of what is included after that moment, where it confirms the picture. Keep every item on the list as it is.
When a client asks what something includes, answer in a sentence or two. Then ask about the day they are planning. The course suggests keeping it short, because the client wants a reason to hold onto, not a new list to compare. For example, a home organizer who is asked whether the closets are included can say, “Yes, the closets are the second day. Whose closet would you like us to start with?”

Next: You will see how the days between a client’s yes and the first session shape what they feel.