When Your Week Revolves Around One Client

Imagine a caterer named Delphine Arceneaux who runs a small business with four servers. Since the spring, she has cooked the Lockharts’ dinner parties, about two a month. Their bills are among the largest she sends. Mrs. Lockhart is warm with Delphine. She writes thank-you notes, and she tells her friends that Delphine is a find.

With the servers, Mrs. Lockhart is someone else. She calls the youngest server “the new girl” in front of the guests. She sends plates back to the kitchen with a remark for the server to pass on. Twice a month, she texts the night before a dinner to change the menu. Each time, she asks for the bill to be redone with the dropped dishes taken off.

By August, Delphine’s business has changed shape around the Lockharts. Three of her servers have asked not to work there, so she sends Tomas Reyes, her steadiest server, every time. She keeps the Friday before each dinner free for the menu change. She has moved the Abernathys, regular clients for six years, off a Saturday to make room for a Lockhart dinner. She redoes every Lockhart invoice by hand.

Delphine tells herself that the Lockharts pay well and that Mrs. Lockhart likes her. In October, Tomas takes a job at a restaurant, because he would rather not spend his Saturdays at the Lockharts’. The Abernathys, moved a second time, book another caterer for their Christmas party. Delphine works the next Lockhart dinner with a server from an agency. Mrs. Lockhart sends back the fish and says, “The other boy was better.”

Suppose instead that in August, Delphine sits down with her calendar and her invoices. Beside the Lockharts’ bills, she writes what the bills do not show. She has kept four Fridays free and redone every invoice by hand. She has taken a Saturday from the Abernathys, and three servers ask not to go. Then she writes how Mrs. Lockhart treats the servers, and next to it how Mrs. Lockhart treats her. The two do not match.

Delphine decides to cook the two dinners already booked and to take no Lockhart dates after September. She gives the Abernathys back their Saturday. Tomas stays with her, and in December the Abernathys book her for their Christmas party.

Delphine cooked the same food for the same client both times. What changed was what she counted. In the first version, she counted the bills and how Mrs. Lockhart treated her. In the second, she counted the Fridays, the Saturday, and the servers. She also saw how Mrs. Lockhart treated people who could do nothing for her.

So when your week starts to revolve around one client, add up what that client costs beyond the fee. Then look at how they treat the people they do not need. Here is why that second step tells you so much. Then you will see what three designers found, and where it goes wrong.

A client who is warm to you and curt with the staff is showing you a pattern

The psychologist Roos Vonk found that people strongly dislike someone who is nice to the boss and unpleasant to the staff. Usually that finding is about you, the professional the client is watching. Here, you are the one watching.

A client has reasons to be pleasant to you. You are new, and they want the dinner or the house to go well. They have no such reason with a server, a housekeeper, or a stranger behind a counter. So the way they treat those people shows how they behave when they want nothing in return.

Brian Patrick Flynn, an interior designer in Atlanta, uses this to decide which clients to take on. In 2019, Business of Home asked six designers how they deal with rude clients. Flynn said that he meets a possible client at home and watches how they talk to other people. Then he meets them in public and does the same.

“Sometimes, a potential client will show their true colors when they’re talking to a stranger who works in the service industry,” he said. “Since we work in the service industry, it’s wise to imagine that we’ll also be spoken to that same way.”

Flynn’s test works on a client you already have. Delphine’s servers work in the service industry, and so does Delphine. The way Mrs. Lockhart speaks to them is the way Flynn would expect her to speak to Delphine, in time.

A Los Angeles designer let a client go because of what it cost his employee

Timothy Corrigan is an interior designer in Los Angeles and Paris. In December 2023, Business of Home asked 11 designers about their achievements and regrets that year. Corrigan’s regret was a client. His gut told him the project “was going to be problematic.” He knew the client had already gone through another designer, and after the first meeting, “a number of red flags were waving.”

He went ahead anyway, and his firm kept meeting the client and presenting options. “The lack of respect the client showed toward his spouse, our senior designer and me proved to be too much,” he said. He ended the relationship. Then he said what he had weighed. “The emotional toll it took on my employee was not worth any amount of money or prestige the project could bring.”

He also named the hope behind a choice like his. “We always think that we will be able to manage a problem client better than someone else did, but all too often, that difficult client will be just as problematic for you!”

Measured against this lesson, Corrigan counted a cost that no invoice shows, which was what the client did to his employee. He set it against the fee and the prestige, and the employee weighed more. His last sentence answers the hope that keeps a client like this on the books. That hope is that you will manage them better.

A New York designer says rudeness to others ends up costing the job

Britt Zunino is an interior designer in New York. In 2019, Business of Home asked her how she deals with rude clients. She said that she meets clients in their own home or office first. “Do they introduce you to the doorman, their nanny, or housekeeper?” she asked. “Or are they dismissive and rude to those who play a supporting role in their life? If so, that’s a big red flag.”

She also said what follows when a client is rude to other people. “Even if your client is on their best behavior with you initially, if you get a whiff of entitlement it will eventually impact you.” The harm reaches the work too. “Whether you become a direct target or they are rude to your contractors or vendors, it almost always causes disruption or delays due to lost morale on the job.”

Zunino watches before she takes a client on, and the same watching works on a client you already have. The cost she describes lands first on the people who do the work, and then on the work itself. That is where Delphine’s cost showed up first, in three servers who asked not to go. A client like this costs you hours, and they also cost you the people those hours depend on.

A Washington designer knows when a project will be more stress than it is worth

Hannah Goldberg is an interior designer in Washington, D.C. In 2024, Business of Home asked designers how they know when a client is not a good fit. Goldberg’s sign is a couple who cannot agree, when “it is clear I am going to be a marriage counselor through the whole project.”

She explained what that does to her week. “If I have to be an intermediary between my clients to get decisions made, or potentially have to deal with expensive change orders due to indecision, I know the project is going to be more stress than it is worth.”

Goldberg’s measure is the work around the work. Carrying decisions between two partners and redoing orders are not what the client hired her for. They are also not what her fee was set to cover. That is the part of a client’s cost to add up, because it never reaches the invoice. A couple who cannot agree is not being unkind to anyone. Even so, they can bend your week.

What it looks like when your business bends around one client

Most of the cost of a client like this does not show on a bill. It usually shows up as one of these:

• You keep a rule for this client that no other client gets. You might take their calls on a Sunday or hold a day free.
• You move other clients to fit this one in.
• Someone on your team, or a supplier you rely on, asks not to work for them.
• You spend hours on them that you do not bill, such as redoing invoices or carrying messages between two partners.

The list is the course’s own, drawn from the accounts above. Its reason is that each one is a cost the fee does not cover.

One sign on its own can be a busy month. When a few appear together and are still there the next month, the cause is the client. That is the course’s line, and its reason is that a busy month ends.

The other half of the picture is how the client treats the people they do not need. Those include their own staff, your team and your suppliers, and a stranger serving them in public. Write down what you see and hear. Zunino, for example, notices whether a client introduces her to the doorman.

This is not a client who sends you one curt message. It is not a client who is unhappy with your work, either. Each of those gives you something to answer or fix. The cost here comes from how the client deals with people, and nothing in the work will fix it.

Add up what the client costs, then ask one question

The course’s suggestion is to put it all on the page you keep on the client. On one side, write what the client paid over the last three months. Three months is long enough to get past one busy month. On the other side, write the costs from the list above. Turn the unbilled hours into money at your usual rate. Write each moved client and each person who asked not to go by name.

Then ask whether you would take this client on today, at this fee, knowing what is on the page. That question is the course’s own, and its reason is Corrigan’s regret. He took on a client against warnings he already had. The page gives you the warnings, so ask the question he wishes he had asked.

If the answer is yes, keep the client and take back what you have bent. The rules you keep for this client alone are yours to change. Tell the client the new arrangement once, as a fact. Delphine might say, “For a Saturday dinner, I’ll need any menu changes by Wednesday.”

If the answer is no, decide to end the work, and choose the date. The course suggests a date after the work already booked, because that keeps your word on the work you agreed to do.

When you are unsure, let how the client treats the people they do not need decide it. A new rule changes what you do. It does not change how the client speaks to a server, and Zunino said that sooner or later the rudeness reaches you.

Why counting only what lands on you goes wrong

Imagine a specialist realtor named Rafael Mendes who is selling the Whitcombes’ house on the bluff. It is the largest commission of his year. Mrs. Whitcombe calls him “my genius,” and she sends him flowers when the listing goes live.

Nadia Bell, the stager Rafael uses on every listing, spends two days on the house. Mrs. Whitcombe moves half the furniture back and tells Nadia that the rooms look like a hotel lobby. She keeps the listing photographer waiting for two hours, then sends him away until the following week.

Rafael is busy with showings, and he looks at what lands on him. The client is pleasant, and the commission is large. When Nadia calls, he says, “She’s stressed about the move. Bear with me, it’s a big one.” Nadia finishes the house. In the spring, when Rafael asks her to stage his next listing, she says she is full. From then on, she stages for another agent in town.

Rafael’s mistake was counting only his own side. The commission and the flowers were his. The two days and the wasted morning belonged to Nadia and the photographer, and he left them off. The version that works writes them down, along with how Mrs. Whitcombe treats Nadia and the photographer. He sells the house, as he agreed to. On the Whitcombes’ page, he writes that he will not take their next listing. Then he tells Nadia, “Send any comments from Mrs. Whitcombe to me. You won’t have to deal with her again.” Nadia stages his next listing.

Deciding to stop working for a client who pays well is not throwing money away

Many professionals hold back here. Ending a client who pays well can feel like turning down money, especially in a slow month.

The fee was smaller than it looked. Part of it went on hours you did not bill, and part went on the regular client you moved. Corrigan weighed the same choice and found that the toll on his employee “was not worth any amount of money or prestige the project could bring.” When Delphine stopped taking the Lockharts’ dates, she kept Tomas and got the Abernathys’ Christmas party back. A fee pays for your work, and it was never meant to pay for your team’s Saturdays.

How to decide about a client who costs more than they pay

1. Choose the client your week revolves around. Write down every rule you keep for them that no other client gets. For example, a coach might write that she answers one client’s texts after ten at night. She also takes his calls during her lunch hour.
2. Beside the rules, write what the fee does not show. Write the hours you did not bill, the clients you moved, and the people who asked not to work for this client. For example, an event planner might write that her florist asked to be left off the client’s next party.
3. Write down how the client treats the people they do not need, in what you saw and heard. Include their own staff, your team and suppliers, and anyone serving them in public. For example, a tutor might write that the father thanks her at the door. He has not once said good evening to the nanny who lets her in.
4. Turn the costs into money and set them against what the client paid over the last three months. Then ask whether you would take this client on today, at this fee, knowing what is on the page. If you are unsure, let what you wrote in step 3 decide it.
5. If the answer is yes, keep the client and take back the rules you keep for them alone. Tell the client the new arrangement once, as a fact. For example, a personal stylist can say, “From next month, I’ll answer messages between nine and six on weekdays.”
6. If the answer is no, decide to end the work. Choose a date after the work already booked, and write it on the client’s page. For example, a dog walker might decide to walk the Pikes’ terrier until the end of June. After that, she takes no bookings from them.
7. Until that date, stand between the client and your team. Take the client’s calls and messages yourself, and do not send your newest person to their house. For example, a photographer can tell his assistant, “Send anything from the Marlowes to me. I’ll look after them until the album is done.”

Next: You will see how to end a working relationship with a client without a dispute.