Some Good Conversations End Without a Sale

Imagine a dog walker named Rhys Garland who meets Mrs. Okafor at her house in January. She and her husband are getting their first puppy from a breeder in the spring. The breeder has not yet said when the litter will be ready. Mrs. Okafor wants to know how a walker would work with a young dog.

Rhys has a walk at noon, and he would like the Okafors on his books. “Spring is when I get booked up,” he says. “If you put down a $200 deposit today, I’ll hold weekday middays for you.” Mrs. Okafor says that they do not have a date for the puppy yet. Rhys tells her that the deposit comes off the first month. She says she will talk to her husband.

Mrs. Okafor does not call again. In March, she hires the walker her neighbor uses. “The first one wanted a deposit before we even had a dog,” she tells the neighbor.

Suppose instead that Rhys takes the missing date to mean there is nothing to decide yet. “Then there’s nothing to decide today,” he says. He tells her what a puppy needs in its first weeks at home. “Until a week or two after its last shots, it shouldn’t walk on the street. It needs short visits in the garden instead.” Then he asks when she would like to hear from him. “Once the breeder gives us a date,” Mrs. Okafor says. “February, probably.”

On February 3, Rhys writes to her once. The vet on Elm Street runs a class for puppies in March, and he sends her the booking page. Mrs. Okafor writes back that the puppy comes home on March 8. She asks Rhys to start the garden visits that week.

Rhys knew the same things about puppies both times. What changed was whether he treated the meeting as a sale. Mrs. Okafor had no dog and no date, so she had nothing to decide. In the first version, Rhys asked her to decide anyway, and the only answer she could give was no. In the second, he gave her something she could use and asked when to be in touch.

Some first conversations come before the client has anything to decide. Here is how to tell when a conversation is one of them. Here, too, is how to leave it open for the day the client is ready.

A push asks for a decision the client is not ready to make

A client has something to decide when they could say yes today and the work could begin. Some clients cannot. The work waits on something they do not have yet, such as a house, a date, or a dog. They may tell you that it is not a good time, or they may have hired someone else already.

A client who is still deciding is different. That client has something to decide and wants time to do it, which a second meeting gives them. The client with nothing to decide does not need more time to weigh your offer. There is no offer for them to weigh yet. Until a client has something to decide, the timing is theirs, as it is when a working relationship grows closer.

Pushing asks a client for a decision they have not made. With a client who has nothing to decide, it asks for a decision that is not due yet. The deposit asked Mrs. Okafor to choose a walker for a dog she did not have. So the only answer she could give was no.

That no is what does the damage, and the reason is the course’s own. Once a client has said no to your face, coming back to you means going back on it. For many clients, calling someone else is easier. A push in this kind of conversation does not speed up a sale. It turns a future yes into a present no.

A Montana firm’s store visitor had no house yet, and came back years later as a client

Jeremiah Young owns Kibler & Kirch, an interior design firm in Billings, Montana. For years, people knew the firm for its store, and visitors traveling through town stopped in. In an interview for Business of Home’s 50 States Project, Young described one of those visitors. “I have a very good client right now that came through our store years ago and said, ‘If I ever build a new home, I want these guys to help me,’” he said.

For Young, visitors like that are one of two ways new work reaches the firm. The other is word of mouth.

The visitor had no house to build, so there was nothing for the firm to close. The visit still mattered. The visitor left wanting the firm’s help with a house that did not exist yet. Years later, the visitor came back as a client. So a conversation with nothing to decide still counts. It is the client’s first look at what you are like to work with.

San Diego wedding photographers ask a couple who is not ready when to call again

Jeff and Erin Youngren are wedding photographers in San Diego who also teach photographers. In episode 107 of their podcast, Creative Rising, they talked about what happens after a couple first gets in touch. Erin said that she had heard the idea that a client “should be booking in a week or the faster the better.”

Their own numbers said otherwise. Jeff looked at how long their couples took from first getting in touch to booking, and the average was 40 days. “Wedding photography is a big decision,” Erin said. “It’s a huge investment.” Couples compare photographers, read the contract, and sort through the proposals.

Jeff added that the wait is “not a judgement on commitment.” Some couples are excited to have the Youngrens at their wedding and still take a long time. They are weighing other choices, such as a rehearsal dinner or how many albums to order.

When a couple tells Jeff that it is not a good time, he asks when to call again. “When would be a good time, a few weeks, two weeks next month. Like what sounds good,” he said. “And when you kind of don’t become that high pressure person, you kind of become this partner in the process.” Then, he said, when he calls in two weeks, the couple is expecting the call.

Jeff’s question hands the timing to the couple, and his next call comes when they said it should. One part of the Youngrens’ method differs from this course’s advice. Their studio follows up in several ways over about a month, and Jeff said that following up “isn’t bugging them.” The course suggests writing on the date the couple chose, and only with something new for them. A message with nothing new in it tells the client you are waiting. Keep Jeff’s question, and let the couple’s date decide when you write.

A Naples designer lost a large house, stayed in touch, and was hired two years later

In January 2020, Business of Home asked five designers about a project they lost and still think about. Lisa Kahn, a designer in Naples, Florida, told them about a 60,000-square-foot house her firm bid on. “I was so disappointed when we did not get the job, but we stayed in close contact with the clients,” she said.

The clients hired another team for the house, and they were not happy with it. Later, they needed help with a corporate project, and they hired Kahn to redesign their airplane hangar. “We did get a job out of it after all, just a couple years later,” she said. “Sometimes it pays to be patient.”

Once the clients chose another firm, the house was no longer a decision Kahn could win. What was left was the relationship, and she kept it. The clients had a next project, and it went to the designer who was still in touch. So when a client hires someone else, stay in touch the way Kahn did.

A conversation left open well has four parts

The four parts below are the course’s suggestion, drawn from these accounts, and each one has its reason.

Say that there is nothing to decide today. Say it before the client has to tell you. A client who came to find out how the work runs might expect a pitch at the end. When you say it first, they do not have to turn one down.

Give one fact the client needs for where they are now. Rhys told Mrs. Okafor that a young puppy needs garden visits, not walks. One fact shows what you are like to work with, as Young’s store showed its visitor. It also keeps the meeting short.

Ask when the client would like to hear from you. That is Jeff’s question. Write the date on the page you keep on the client. When the date comes, your message is one they asked for.

On that date, write once, with something new. Rhys sent the puppy class. If the client has hired someone else, keep in touch the way Kahn did. Send them something whenever you come across an item meant for them.

Why leaving without a date goes wrong

Imagine a tutor named Felix Abara who meets Mr. and Mrs. Achterberg in May. Their daughter, Hana, is in seventh grade. She takes a high school entrance exam in the fall of eighth grade, more than a year away. They want to know how Felix prepares students for it.

Felix has a student at four, and he knows not to push. “There’s nothing to decide yet,” he says. “Call me when she’s in eighth grade.” He leaves without asking when to be in touch, and he does not write.

The next spring, Mrs. Achterberg asks a friend at school pickup about tutors. The friend gives her the name of the tutor her son used. Mrs. Achterberg liked Felix, but she has not heard from him in a year. The friend’s tutor has an opening in June. She books the friend’s tutor.

Felix was right that the Achterbergs had nothing to decide in May. His mistake was leaving with no date and nothing to come back with. “Call me when she’s in eighth grade” put the whole job of keeping in touch on a busy family.

The version that works keeps Felix’s first sentence and adds a question. “When would you like to hear from me?” Felix asks. Mrs. Achterberg says, “After her report card in January.” In January, Felix writes once, with the date that registration for the exam opens. Mrs. Achterberg writes back and books him for the spring.

A conversation that ends without a sale is not a wasted hour

An hour with a client who has nothing to decide can feel like an hour you could have billed. In a slow month, it can feel like a sale you let go.

The accounts point the other way. Young’s store visitor had no house, and came back years later as a client. Kahn lost the house and got the hangar. Leaving a conversation open costs you a question, a date on the client’s page, and one message when the date comes. A push can cost you the client’s next decision. Asking for a deposit before there was a dog cost Rhys the walks for the Okafors’ puppy.

How to leave a conversation open when the client has nothing to decide

1. Before you offer a next step, check whether the client has something to decide today. They do not when the work waits on something they do not have yet. They do not either when they say it is not a good time, or when they have hired someone else. For example, a personal trainer’s client may be having knee surgery in March. Until her surgeon clears her to train, she has nothing to decide.
2. When the client has nothing to decide, say so before they have to. For example, a specialist realtor can say, “Then there’s nothing to decide today. You haven’t sold your house yet, so let’s talk about what you’d want in the next one.”
3. Give the client one fact they need for where they are now, and keep it short. For example, a private chef whose client is redoing her kitchen can say, “If you can, ask your builder for a second oven. Dinners for 12 are much easier with two.”
4. Ask when the client would like to hear from you, and write the date on the page you keep on them. For example, a coach can ask, “When would you like me to be in touch? After your board meeting in April?”
5. On that date, write once, with something new for the client and no question about whether they are ready. For example, an event planner can write, “The Hollis Hotel opens its garden room for private parties in September. You said you wanted the party outdoors if you could.”
6. If the client hires someone else, write a short note that wishes the work well and asks for nothing. Then send something whenever you come across an item meant for them. For example, a home organizer can write, “Thank you for telling me. I hope the move goes smoothly.”

Next: You will see how to answer a client who hesitates at your price, without reaching for a discount.