The Phrases That Ask for Approval, and What to Say
Each phrase hands the client a decision that was yours, so take it back.
Imagine a dog walker named Soledad who has just met a new client, Mrs. Lindqvist, and her spaniel, Biscuit. On the walk back to the house, Mrs. Lindqvist asks when Soledad can start. Soledad has a place free on Monday mornings, and she wants this one. “I was thinking Monday, if that’s OK with you?” she says. “I could do mornings or afternoons, whichever’s easier for you?” Mrs. Lindqvist says mornings, and Monday sounds fine.
That evening Soledad writes to confirm. “Hi Mrs. Lindqvist, I just wanted to check that Monday still works for you? No worries if not! Let me know what you think, and I hope that’s OK.”
Mrs. Lindqvist reads it on her phone between two meetings. She hired a dog walker so that Biscuit’s mornings would be one less decision in her week. The email asks her to make three. Is Monday still the day? Does the time still suit her? What does she think? She puts the phone down to deal with it later. Two days pass, and she writes back to ask Soledad what she would suggest. Biscuit’s first walk slips to the following week. Over the fence, Mrs. Lindqvist tells her neighbor that the new walker seems to need a lot of managing.
Soledad decided on Monday morning before she said a word. Each phrase handed the decision back. “If that’s OK with you?” gave Mrs. Lindqvist the day. “Whichever’s easier for you?” gave her the time. “No worries if not” gave her permission to ignore the whole email. A client hears the softening as doubt. This lesson is the list of the phrases that do it, each with the statement that replaces it. Each phrase on the list was named by someone who reads a lot of professional email.
A writer for women in business says “just” shrinks what you have to say
Tara Mohr writes on her site for women who are building businesses and organizations. In a post listing eight habits, she starts with one word. “Drop the ‘just’,” she writes, and gives the examples: “I’m just wondering,” “I just think,” “I just want to add.” The word, she writes, “demeans what you have to say” and “shrinks your power.”
Her third habit is telling the listener in advance that you are likely to be wrong. The examples are “I haven’t researched this much but” and “You’ve clearly been studying this longer than I have, but.” People do it, she writes, because they fear being wrong, so they “buffer the sting of a critical response” with a disclaimer. The cost is the same either way, because “doing this takes away from the power of your voice.”
Her sixth is a question in place of a statement. “What about increasing the marketing budget?” sounds to the speaker like a suggestion. The people listening, she writes, “aren’t likely to hear an opinion” in it. “When you have something to say, don’t couch it in a question.”
Mohr writes to women, and the habits belong to anyone who is not sure of their standing in the room. Soledad’s “I was thinking Monday” is Mohr’s “I’m just wondering” with a day in it. A florist’s “What about ranunculus for the bouquet?” is her marketing budget. The client hears a question, so she answers it, and the recommendation never arrives.
A trainer of designers says “just checking in” writes like a junior
Clare Le Roy runs The Little Design Corner, which sells training to designers and architects. In a post on client emails, she lists what to stop doing. One item is “writing like a junior when you should be leading the job.” Her example is an email that opens, “I just wanted to quickly send this through and see what you think when you get a chance.” Her replacement gives the client a date and a reason: “Please review the attached by Friday and give me your decision so we can keep the joinery drawings on schedule.”
Two more items on her list are short. Saying “just checking in” or “sorry to bother you,” she writes, “undermines your leadership role.” Apologizing for doing your job, with “Sorry for the follow up” or “Sorry to chase you,” is on the list too.
She also names the phrases that hide a decision. “Let me know what you think?” sounds “vague or unsure.” “Would you prefer this or this?” hides the decision behind options. “Whenever you get a chance,” she writes, “sounds polite but won’t help your timelines.” Her instruction is to give the client a clear date and say why it matters.
Her readers design houses for busy people, and the point carries to any client who skims on a phone. Each phrase on her list asks the client to do a piece of the designer’s job. The client has to decide when to reply, choose between the options, or work out whether the follow-up was allowed. The replacement does that piece of the job before the email is sent.
A copywriter replaces “no worries if not” with a date
Charlotte, a copywriter who writes the Beauty Confidential newsletter, wrote a post in July 2025 about inboxes “full of ‘just checking’, ‘sorry to bother’, ‘no worries if not’, ‘would you mind terribly.’” Her method has three steps. First, find the phrases, which she calls “the soften-the-blow phrases cluttering your sentences.” Her list is “Just checking,” “Sorry to follow up,” “No worries if not,” “Would you be able to,” and “I was wondering if.”
Second, swap each one for “clean, neutral phrasing.” Third, close with a date. Her closers are “Let me know by [X date] so we can move ahead” and “If I don’t hear back by [X], I’ll assume [Y].”
Her before-and-after pairs show the swap. “Sorry, just checking if you’ve had a chance to review, no worries if not!” becomes “Checking in for an update on this. Let me know if you need anything clarified.” “I was wondering if we could lock in a time” becomes “I’d like to lock in a time for [X]. What works on your side?”
One of her swaps keeps a little of the habit. “Let me know if that’s workable on your side” still ends on the client’s approval of a plan the professional made. The course’s version gives the date and asks only what the professional needs to know, which is whether the client is free. Her closers are the useful part. “No worries if not” tells the client that the request can be dropped. A date tells the client what happens next.
A photographer says the softening after a price invites a discount
Don Giannatti is a photographer who mentors other photographers. In a post from April 2025, he describes the moment after a number is spoken. “You brace yourself. You soften your tone.” Then, he writes, “immediately after delivering that number, you tack on a phrase like, ‘But I’m flexible,’ or ‘We can work something out.’”
The client takes the phrase at its word. “Say it with hesitation, and they’ll second-guess,” he writes. “Say it with apology, and they’ll ask for a discount.” His replacement is to say the rate “like it’s just the weather,” and then nothing: “After you state your rate, stop talking.”
“But I’m flexible” is the same phrase as Soledad’s “no worries if not,” moved to the end of a price. Both tell the client that what came before can be set aside. After a price, the replacement is already yours: one sentence about when the work starts, and then the pause.
The list, and the statement that replaces each phrase
The list below gathers the phrases from the four accounts and from Soledad’s day, in the words a service professional says them. The middle column says what the phrase asks the client to decide. The last column is the statement in a professional’s own words.
| The phrase | What it hands the client | Say instead |
|---|---|---|
| “I just wanted to check that Tuesday still works for you?” | Whether the date you set is still the date. | A caterer can write, “I’ll be in your kitchen on Tuesday at 2 to set up.” |
| “Just checking in on the proposal.” | Whether the proposal needed an answer by now. | A florist can write, “The proposal is attached. If you can confirm by Friday, I can hold the 14th for you.” |
| “Sorry to bother you again.” | Whether the follow-up was allowed. | A music teacher can write, “Following up on the invoice from the 1st, which is due on Friday.” |
| “I was wondering if we could move the lesson to Thursday?” | Permission to ask for a change. | A music teacher can write, “Next week the lesson moves to Thursday at 4, because I am at a school on Tuesday.” |
| “I think I’d probably go with ranunculus?” | Whether your recommendation counts. | A florist can say, “The bouquet is ranunculus, because they hold up for the eight hours of the day.” |
| “What about navy for the dinner?” | Whether you were asking or telling. | A personal stylist can say, “The dinner suit is navy, because the room is candlelit and black disappears in it.” |
| “You know him better than I do, but I’d hold off on the exam?” | Permission to be wrong. | A music teacher can say, “He sits the exam next spring, because his sight-reading needs another term.” |
| “Let me know what you think?” | Whether the decision is yours. | A caterer can write, “The menu is attached. I need your choice of main course by Friday, so that I can order the lamb.” |
| “Would you prefer the long table or the rounds?” | A decision you were hired to make. | A caterer can say, “One long table. Forty guests at rounds cannot hear a toast.” |
| “Whenever you get a chance.” | When the deadline is. | A personal stylist can write, “By Thursday, so that the tailor has a week before the dinner.” |
| “No worries if not!” | Permission to ignore the request. | Leave it off, because the sentence before it was the message. |
| “I hope that’s not too much,” or “but I’m flexible.” | Whether the price might move. | A dog walker can say, “It’s $900 a month. I can start on the 9th.” |
“I might be wrong, but” and “does that make sense?” belong on the list too. Their replacement is the statement on its own, with its reason if it needs one, and a full stop at the end.
One kind of question stays. A question that asks for something you need to know, such as which morning suits the client, is a real question. Ask it. A question that asks the client to approve what you had already decided is a phrase on the list.
Here is Soledad’s email with the list applied. “Hi Mrs. Lindqvist, good to meet you and Biscuit this morning. I’ll start on Monday at 7:30, and I’ll text you a photo after each walk.” Mrs. Lindqvist reads it between the same two meetings, and there is nothing in it for her to decide.
Why taking the phrase out and putting nothing in goes wrong
Imagine an event planner named Rosalind who has read the list and goes through her emails with it. She finds “just checking in,” “no worries if not,” and “let me know what you think” in the note she is about to send to Mrs. Achebe about a September party. She deletes all three. The email that goes out says, “The proposal for the September party is attached.”
Mrs. Achebe opens the attachment and puts it down. Nothing in the email says what Rosalind needs from her, or by when, or what happens next. A week later, the venue gives the date Rosalind was holding to another party. She has to write again to say so.
The phrases were doing a job badly, and deleting them left the job undone. “Just checking in” was standing in for a date. “Let me know what you think” was standing in for the decision Rosalind needed. The email that works puts those in. For example: “The proposal for the September party is attached. The venue will hold the 20th until Friday, so I need your yes by then.”
Saying it straight is not dropping your manners
Taking “sorry” and “if that works for you” out of an email can feel like taking the manners out with them, with a client who could hire anyone.
Le Roy’s last item is the answer, which is forgetting that “short doesn’t mean rude.” “You can be warm and professional without rambling, apologising or padding the email with unnecessary words.” Charlotte makes the same point: “You can be clear without being cold.”
What stays is the warmth that was never a phrase on the list. A thank-you for the morning stays. A real apology stays, such as “I’m sorry, I’m running 10 minutes late,” because it is true and the client needs it. And the question about the client stays, because it is about her. What goes is the apology for doing your job, and the question that asks her to approve it.
How to replace the phrases in your own emails and meetings
- Open your recording and the last 10 emails you sent to clients. Read them with the list beside you, and mark every phrase on it. Add any phrase of your own that does the same job. The job is asking the client to approve what you had already decided.
- Next to each mark, write what you had decided before you said it. That might be the day, the price, the recommendation, or the answer to the client’s question.
- Write that decision as a statement, with its reason if it needs one. Where you need something from the client, say what you need and the date you need it by. For example, a travel adviser who wrote, “Just checking whether you’d had a chance to look at the itinerary?” writes instead, “The flights on the itinerary hold until Thursday. If you confirm by then, I will book them.”
- Where the phrase came after a price, replace it with the sentence about when the work starts, and nothing after that. For example, a florist who said, “That’s $4,800 for the tables, but I’m flexible,” says instead, “The tables are $4,800. I would need your flower choices by the 1st.”
- Where the phrase was a real question, one whose answer you need, keep the question and take the softening off it. For example, a caterer who wrote, “I was wondering if Tuesday might possibly work for a tasting?” writes instead, “Which afternoon suits you for the tasting, Tuesday or Thursday?”
- Before you send your next email, search it for “just,” “sorry,” “no worries,” and a question mark at the end of a statement. Replace each one from the list. In your next meeting, when you hear one of the phrases coming, say the statement it was standing in for and stop. Afterward, write down the ones that got through.
- Pin the list where you write to clients. When a new phrase of your own turns up, add it to the list with its replacement.
Next: You will count your qualifiers with a colleague, and see why their count is always higher than yours.