Clients Hire for the Person They Hope to Be

Imagine a home organizer named Hanna Brandt who visits a new client, Claire Whitford, on a Tuesday morning. Hanna has another visit at eleven, so she opens with the first question on her intake sheet. “Which rooms are giving you the most trouble?” Claire says the kitchen, the pantry, and the hall closet, because she cannot find anything in them.

Hanna walks through the three rooms, measures the shelves, and quotes $1,800 for two days. A quote for three rooms is easy to compare. Claire asks two other organizers for quotes and books the one who charges $1,400.

Suppose instead that Hanna opens with a different question. “What should this make possible for you?” Claire thinks for a moment. “I’d like to be someone who says yes when friends want to come over on a Friday. Right now I tell them we’ll meet at a restaurant.”

Hanna asks about the kitchen and the closet after that. Her plan starts with the rooms a guest sees, which are the hall, the kitchen, and the downstairs bathroom. It ends with a 10-minute routine Claire can do on a Friday afternoon before people arrive. Claire books Hanna for the two days at $1,800, without asking anyone else for a quote.

Hanna offered the same two days at the same price both times. In the first version, Claire described three rooms where she could not find anything, and any organizer could fix those. In the second, Claire described the person she hopes to be, a host who says yes on a Friday. Only the organizer who heard that could plan for it.

So open a first conversation by asking what your work should make possible, and ask about needs afterward. Here is how need, want, and desire differ, and why a question about a need gets you compared on price. Then you will see why saying the client’s picture back in grander words goes wrong.

Need, want, and desire are three different reasons to hire someone

The course uses three everyday words for why a client hires a professional, each in a narrow sense.

Need is something missing or broken that the service fixes. Claire’s three rooms where she cannot find anything are a need. Anyone competent can meet a need, so a client with only a need compares on price.

Want is a preference the client can give reasons for. Because reasons can be weighed, the client can reason their way out of a want. A client who wants a new kitchen can look again at the old one. She decides that it will do for another year, and she cancels the consultation.

Desire is a picture of the person the client would be with the service in their life. Claire does not need an organizer, because she knows how to tidy a cupboard. What she desires is to be a host who says yes on a Friday. A cheaper quote does not give her that picture, so her desire does not get argued away the way a want does.

In The Luxury Strategy, Jean-Noël Kapferer and Vincent Bastien argue that premium goods are bought for what they do. Luxury, they write, shows that the buyer has moved past practical needs. They write about luxury goods, but the same holds for a service. A wealthy client can meet a practical need almost anywhere. So the picture of who they would be is what brings them to one organizer or chef rather than another.

Why a question about a need gets you compared on price

Here is the course’s view of what a need question does. A standard intake form opens with need questions, such as “What are your goals?” and “What is your budget?” Each one asks the client to put a need into words. Claire’s three rooms were a need put into words, and any competent organizer can meet it. So the client compares organizers on price.

A question about what the service should make possible asks for something else. The client answers with a description of their life, and the picture comes with it. The need still gets met, later, once you know what it is for.

The order matters for a second reason. A client often decides on a feeling first and finds the reasons afterward. A need question skips the feeling and goes straight to the reasons, which are the easiest part to compare.

A designer’s clients at $225 an hour wanted her to make the choices

Isabel Ladd is an interior designer in Lexington, Kentucky. In 2021, she told Business of Home how her clients changed when she raised her rate. After a long time at $125 an hour, she raised it to $225. The clients who said yes were, in general, households where both partners held senior jobs.

At first, she found herself asking these clients questions such as “Can I run this trim by you real quick?” or “Do you prefer a warm glow or a cool glow?” In her words, “these people don’t want to answer that. They want to delegate all of those decisions to me.”

Her clients now are professionals who are “used to delegating,” she said. They tell her, “Isabel, you take the wheel. What check do I write?”

Questions about trim and lighting are detail questions, which ask the client for a preference. Ladd’s clients expected her to make those choices herself. When a client hands you the choices, you need their picture to make the choices well. So ask about the picture before you ask a client to decide any detail.

A chef who asks about the evenings first gets the job

Imagine a private chef named Rosa Delgado who meets Ana Whitcombe about cooking dinner three nights a week. Rosa has a dinner party to cook that evening, so she opens with the first question on her list. “Any dietary restrictions?” Ana gives her a list. Any chef in town could cook from that list, so Ana compares weekly prices and hires a chef who charges less.

Now imagine that Rosa opens with a different question. “Tell me about the evenings you’d like back.” Ana describes weeknights that end with takeout eaten standing at the counter. She hopes to sit down with her children at seven.

Rosa asks about the restrictions afterward. She proposes dinners that are ready at seven, for the family to eat at the table, and Ana hires her.

Why saying the picture back in grander words goes wrong

Imagine a wedding photographer named Paula Greer who meets Irene Castle about her wedding in June. Irene tells Paula, “I want photos where you can see how much my dad laughs.” Paula writes it down.

Paula has three weddings that month. That night, she sends a proposal that opens with the paragraph she puts at the top of every proposal. “I’ll capture the timeless, elegant story of your love.” Irene thinks it sounds like a sales pitch. Her own plain picture has turned into marketing words, and she wonders whether Paula was listening. She meets two more photographers and books one of them.

When you say a client’s picture back in their own words, the client can tell that you were listening. Grander words tell the client only that you had a paragraph ready. So when a client describes the person they hope to be, use their words, not grander ones.

In the version that works, Paula opens the proposal with Irene’s picture, in Irene’s words. “You want photos where you can see how much your dad laughs. So I’ll stay close to him all day, at the dinner and on the dance floor.” Irene books a call to go over the plan.

How to find the picture in a first conversation

1. Write down the first three questions you ask a new client.
2. Mark each need question. A need question asks for a result the client can measure, a list of details, or a budget.
3. Replace the first need question with one that asks what your work should make possible. For example, you can ask, “What should this make possible for you?”
4. If the answer comes back as a need, ask once more. For example, you can ask, “And once that’s done, what’s different?”
5. Write down the client’s exact words for the person they describe. Then say the picture back in those words. For example, Hanna can say to Claire, “So you’d like to say yes when friends want to come over on a Friday.”
6. Ask your need questions after that. When you write the proposal, open it with the client’s picture, in the same words. Then say what you will do to make it happen.

Next: You will see the three drivers under that picture, which are achievement, belonging, and status. You will also see how to tell which one a client is speaking from.