Achievement, Belonging, and Status

Imagine a math tutor named Oliver Kemp who meets three new families in one week. The lessons he would teach each child are almost the same. What each parent says they are hiring him for is not.

On Monday, Mr. Grant says, “I never had anyone help me with math, and I’d like him to have what I didn’t.” On Wednesday, Mrs. Patel asks, “Who else do you work with at Ridgefield School?” On Friday, Ms. Okafor asks which schools Oliver’s past students went on to.

Oliver has sessions back to back all week. So he answers all three parents with the same short paragraph, which describes his method and gives his hourly rate.

Mr. Grant books him for Tuesday afternoons. Mrs. Patel hires the tutor that two other Ridgefield families already use. Ms. Okafor hires a tutor who told her where his students went.

Suppose instead that Oliver answers the question each parent asked. He tells Mr. Grant how he teaches, step by step, so that nothing gets skipped. He tells Mrs. Patel that he teaches four families at Ridgefield School, without naming them. He tells Ms. Okafor which schools his last few students went on to. All three families book him.

Oliver offered the same lessons at the same rate both times. In the first version, only Mr. Grant heard what he wanted to know, which was how Oliver teaches. In the second, each parent heard an answer to the reason they gave for hiring a tutor.

So listen to how a client explains why they are hiring you now. Then show them the part of your work that answers it. Here is what the three reasons are, and what to show for each. Then you will see why answering a different reason loses the client.

Three drivers can sit under the picture a client hires for

A wealthy client hires for a picture of the person they hope to be with your service in their life. Under that picture sit up to three drivers, meaning reasons that push the hire along. A client can feel all three, but one usually leads.

In The Luxury Strategy, Jean-Noël Kapferer and Vincent Bastien write that luxury has two sides. One is luxury for oneself, the pleasure a buyer takes in it. The other is luxury for others. They write about luxury goods, and the course applies the same two sides to a service.

The course then takes two steps of its own. From luxury for oneself, it takes one reason a client gives, which is what the hire proves to them. It also splits the people who see the hire into two groups. Some are people like the client, inside their circle, and the rest are people outside it. That gives three drivers.

Achievement is what a purchase or a hire proves to the client themselves. Mr. Grant is paying for proof that he can give his son the help he did not have. A client speaking from achievement talks about what they went without, what they waited for, or finally having something done properly.

Belonging is what a purchase or a hire says about the client to people like them, inside their circle. It says that the client is one of the group. Mrs. Patel wants to be one of the Ridgefield School families who have a private tutor. A client speaking from belonging asks who else you work with.

Status is what a purchase or a hire says to people outside the client’s circle. Ms. Okafor wants a result that people beyond her friends will see, such as the school her daughter goes on to. A client speaking from status asks about results other people will see. They want to know which schools, which magazine, or who came to the party.

In this course, status means only that view from outside the client’s circle. A person’s place inside their own family is a different idea, and the course calls it standing.

Each driver asks you to show a different part of your work

A client speaking from achievement is proving something to themselves, so they want to know the job is being done properly. Show them the craft, meaning the finished work, the care in it, and how you do it. For example, an interior designer can show photos of the joins in a bookcase she designed. Then she can say why she chose oak.

If the hire is a reward the client is giving themselves, leave out any word about what they deserve. In 1990, two researchers, David Glen Mick and Michelle Demoss, studied the gifts people buy for themselves. Their findings suggest that each of these gifts is a message the person sends to themselves.

So a reward is the client telling themselves that they did well. When you say “you deserve it” or “treat yourself,” you say out loud what the client meant to keep to themselves. That spoils the reward.

A client speaking from belonging wants to know they are among the right people. So say what kind of clients you work with, and where. For example, an event planner can say, “Most of the dinners I plan are for families in Lake Forest, and most of them came to me through a guest.” Name a client only when that client has given permission.

A client speaking from status wants results that other people have seen. So tell them where your past work has been seen. A tutor can name the schools past students went on to. A designer can name the magazine that showed one of her rooms.

Here is the course’s suggestion for the result itself. Let the client take the credit for it, because the result is there to say something about the client. A wedding photographer can deliver photos the couple can share without a logo on them. A private chef can tell the guests that the menu was the host’s choice.

Leave the word “status” out of what you say to the client, too. Naming a client’s reason for them can sound like a judgment of it.

Why answering a different driver loses the client

Imagine a family photographer named Clara Novak whose new client, Mrs. Hale, calls about a portrait of her three children. Mrs. Hale says, “I’ve waited years to have this done properly.”

Clara is driving between two shoots. She answers with the sentence she says to most new clients. “Most of the families I photograph in your neighborhood have one of these on the wall.”

Clara has answered belonging to a client speaking from achievement. Mrs. Hale wanted to hear that the portrait would be done properly, and she heard about her neighbors instead. She thanks Clara, and the next week she books a photographer who asked about the years she waited.

In the version that works, Clara answers the reason Mrs. Hale gave, with Mrs. Hale’s own word. “Then let’s do it properly. I’ll come and see the light in your house first, and we’ll choose the paper for the print together.” Mrs. Hale books the shoot on that call.

How to hear which driver a client is speaking from

1. After a first conversation, write down the client’s own words about why they are hiring now. For example, a coach might write, “She wants to run the company the way she always meant to, for once.”
2. Sort the words. Talk of what the client went without, what they waited for, or doing it properly points to achievement. A question about who else you work with points to belonging. A question about results other people will see points to status.
3. If the words point two ways, answer both in your next message. Start with the one the client came back to more often.
4. In your next message, show the part of your work that answers that driver. For example, a specialist realtor whose buyer asked which of his sales made the local paper can write, “Two of the houses I sold last year were in the Sunday homes section.”
5. Keep the driver you heard to yourself. Answer it in what you show, and do not tell the client which one you think it is.
6. Rewrite one sentence on your website for the driver your best clients speak from most often.

Next: You will see why calling your own business luxury works against you. You will also see what to write in its place.